Where’s The Weirdest Place You’ve Whacked Off? Share Your Story, Win A Prize

UPDATE: The contest is now closed and the winner has successfully claimed his prize. Thank you to all who entered, you all stepped up your game, and we appreciate all the comments. 

Inspired by this article in the Sabotage Times, we're opening the floor to my favorite people in the world, the Gay Fleshbot commenters, to share your story with us. We want to know where the weirdest place is that you've ever rubbed one out. 

Was it at your grandmother's funeral? In the security line at the airport? While watching It's a Wonderful Life in matching red sweaters? You've got a story to tell and we want to hear it. Here's one from that Sabotage Times article to get your creative juices flowing...

I’m no mountaineer and the thought of sky-diving leaves me cold, but as a teenager I would, whenever confronted with a flight, make sure I joined the one-handed mile high club. Two beers, a wank and a packet of salt n’ vinegar hula hoops and I’d be out until touchdown. It only recently dawned on me that most people would’ve known what I was doing. Funnily enough, despite my fantasies, a stewardess never ‘accidentally’ caught me and finished me off. Shame.

Leave your stories below for us to enjoy, and as an added incentive, we're going to pick our favorite and give that lucky commenter a free one-month membership to MrMan.com. To be entered to win, you must leave a comment on this post! But before you begin commenting like mad, there are some ground rules we need to go over...

• First, keep it positive. If your comment is, "You're site sux," or something to that effect, you're not going to win. You just aren't, sorry. Pull out the thesaurus, check your grammar, and be creative. 
• Second, no spam. I'm sure your website is awesome and we'll make it a point to visit it some time, but don't post links to anything, okay?
• Finally, quality over quantity. Don't comment three hundred times in hopes of increasing your odds of winning. The winners will not be selected at random, we're actually going to read the comments and pick the best one 

You've got from now until 9am CST on Monday, December 8th to comment, so take some time, think it over, maybe write a few drafts before posting anything. Keep it civil, try to be clever, and think before you post. 

*THE FINE PRINT: The winner will be contacted via email, so please make sure the e-mail address linked to your Disqus account is up-to-date before entering. The winner will be chosen by our editing staff at 12:00 pm CST on Monday, December 8, 2014.