Gay Porn’s Slutty Reality Show Gets Us Moist and Wet

It's another poolside sex scene in Episode 7 of "So You Think You Can Fuck," the gay porn reality show, semi-spoof that makes watching professionally filmed mansex exciting again. This week's episode, bluntly called "Pool Fuck," is all about diving in, getting wet and ogling everyone's cannonballs. Drop your towel and your speedo and come on in; the water's fine.

The Challenge
This week, the dudes must look sexy while floating in the nebulous underwater world for a photo shoot contest. It ain't easy to pout for the camera when your limbs keep floating lazily about, you've got to hold your breath and you've got chlorine in your eye. But the dudes make it work. Jimmy Clay once again proves he's sexy just by doing nothing. Poor Tony Newport keeps fading in the background. The wee lad is simply too green to be able to outshine the creative poses of the other stars. The best moment was seeing Rick McCoy crashed out and coughing on a sofa bed, suffering from a fever (read: hangover?). Like a trooper, he does his underwater shoot, but doesn't strip. Boooo! We need to see that uncut ginger cock as often as possible.

The Sex Scene
Gay porn's Twiggy, Jarrett Fox, is paired with hunky Mr. Clean Mitch Vaughn for sex in the swimming pool. Frankly, after last week's steamy underwater session with Jimmy Clay and Rick McCoy, this water scene was less boiling and more damp. There's something about Mitch that rubs us the wrong way, but we can't put our finger on exactly what. He's obviously a professional, but seems too polished in performance and not genuinely passionate. He's like watching those highly trained stage actors who are quite clearly pulling out all their dramatic acting techniques, but don't seem to inhabit the soul of the role. Maybe we're overthinking. This is porn, not Hamlet.

The most creative position has Jarrett hanging upside-down from the pool ladder as Mitch fucks his ass from behind. It couldn't be remotely comfortable for babyfaced Jarrett, but it looks grand for us at home jacking off. Mitch overkills the generic dirty talk of, "Faster," "Fuck Me," "Yeah," "Fuck yeah," and "That feels so good," leaving Jarrett to not do much but pant and moan. The scene would have worked better if Mitch zipped the lip and let it feel like an artsy porn scene told only via moaning and groaning.

How glorious to see Jarrett's big dick flopping and flying about while getting fucked. Unlike Mitch, Jarrett seemed to get lost in getting his prostate massaged. In Mitch's favor, he squirts a huge load that showers down his partner's back and buttcheeks like a gloriously creamy geyser.

The Judging
Like us, the judges seemed to also forget Mitch to concentrate on Jarrett's impressive bottom booty moves and his huge dick. They were a bit more impressed than us with the scene, loving the different use of the pool, and feeling the angles were solid and the pacing brisk. On the whole, we agree. Although the sex itself wasn't erotically sizzling enough to give as high marks as the other judges. Oh, well. On to next week.

Vote for your favorite this week by clicking here.

Final Score
Scotty B.: 9.5
Tommy Stone: 10
Jack Shamama: 9.5
Jeremy Lucido: 9
Fleshbot's Very Own Cedric DeWittison: 7

· Episode 7: Pool Fuck (soyouthinkyoucanfuck.net)