Michael Fassbender May Or May Not Be Smuggling Salami From Craft Services

Respected actor Michael Fassbender has a problem. Apparently he's developed an affinity for smuggling large, cylindrical meats in his long johns on the set of his new film Slow West. Hang on a moment, I'm being handed this still from Shame... Oh my word. Nevermind, reports of Fassbender's meat smuggling have been greatly exaggerated. 

As anyone who's seen Shame, which is likely everyone who's going to read this article, can testify, Michael Fassbender hangs some major dong, and the costumes from his latest film do a nice job of allowing us to once again see Fassbender's glorious gift to mankind. As for the film, it debuted to solid reviews at Sundance and will be available On Demand in the US next week, so we'll get to see it soon enough and let you know if it's worth seeing. Oh who are we kidding, it's got Fassbender and Ben Mendelsohn in it, and if you're not familiar with Mendelsohn, shame on you. Go watch Animal Kingdom, Killing Them Softly, and The Place Beyond the Pines. He's the guy that's in them for less than half the running time, yet somehow manages to steal the entire film away from the much bigger named actors around him.

So yeah, Fassbender... Hell of a dick! Let's see it again, shall we?