Chris Hemsworth Takes His Hunk Duties Seriously

Those of you who may have thought that Chris Hemsworth wasn't a worthy successor to Harry Hamlin and Nick Nolte as People's Sexiest Man Alive can now eat a big ol' bowl of crow. It appears that Hemsworth is taking his hunk duties very seriously. Too seriously, some might say, but when you're the Sexiest Man Alive, you can't be too careful.

According to The Onion (link below), Hemsworth recently deputized "well-regarded local hunk Troy Richardson" at his Malibu estate, so that Richardson can stand in his stead should Hemsworth not be able to fulfill his duties.

“I hereby entrust you with the full rights and responsibilities of the position anytime I am unavailable, including the authority to show off your rock-hard abs in a sizzling GQ spread and accept Teen Choice Awards in my stead,” Hemsworth said during the official swearing-in, which was attended by several fellow hard-bodied beefcakes and a notary public.

“Now repeat after me: I vow to maintain the cut and definition of my pecs, keep my body fat to a minimum, and never fasten the top three buttons of any shirt I wear. Congratulations, Troy.”

At press time, sources confirmed Hemsworth had returned to the set of Thor: Ragnarok and sent the newly deputized studmuffin to be photographed while emerging bare-chested from the surf.

Good luck Troy, those are some large, hunky shoes to fill.

Via The Onion

Yes, I know this is satire. Congratulations for figuring it out as well.