Your Shirtless Celebrity RoundUp Is Back With A Vengeance!

Paris Hilton dates muscle god! James Marden gets sexy on "Modern Family!" Chris Noth and Adrian Grenier frolick in the sun, and every celebrity you know escapes to the beach! All this and more in Your Shirtless Celebrity Round Up!

"Desperate Housewives" stud Jesse Metcalfe was spotted vacationing in Mexico with girlfriend Cara Santana. These may actually be the most deliciously meaty pectorals we've ever seen on a celebrity actor. Damn, toss in a little Worcestershire sauce and maybe a baked potato and you've got yourself a meal!

Paris Hilton was spotted vacationing in Hawaii with her beefy new boyfriend, club owner Cy Waits. You know, we haven't always been the biggest Hilton fan, but looking at her new boy's beach bod we can only say this: You fucking go girl. We spend our nights jerking off to muscle worship vids on YouTube wishing we could find a man like this. We were jealous at first, but we're gonna dial back the haterade and just hope that this guy fucks your brains out regularly and that you love every minute of it.

Speaking of famous women who's men we totally want to steal, Fergie went on vacation with actor/hubby Josh Duhamel in St. Barts and dear God is he looking foine these days. See, Fergie, we feel pretty okay saying that we hate you and want to steal your husband because, unlike Paris Hilton who doesn't really do anything anymore, The Black Eyed Peas continue to assault our senses and sensibilities all the goddamn time with their awful awful awful music. So there you have it. Please die. And leave us Duhamel in the will. (We'll take it back if you ever get around to putting out another single as good as "Clumsy," though. That shit was the jam!)

"X-Men" star James Marsden (yes, the last "X-Men" movie came out in 2006; yes, we will forever think of him as Cyclops) made a guest appearance on last night's episode of "Modern Family." There was a whole plot with him being a crazy person living in the princess castle that our favorite television gays Cameron and Mitchell had bought for their daughter Lily but honestly who cares because James Marsden shirtless in a hot tub.

"Entourage" star Adrian Grenier was in South Beach on Monday to perform a gig with his band, The Honey Brothers, and managed to get in a little topless fun and sun in the process. Wow, these shirtless pics almost make up for how unwatchably shitty the last four seasons of "Entourage" were. Oh wait, they so totally don't. We still love you, though, Adrian. Photos by Pacific Coast News

Liev Schreiber spent the holidays in Australia with his family, chilling out on the beach, hangin' ten, peeling himself in and out of skintight body suits that left little to the imagination, and taking what we can only hope were incredibly sensuous, slow-motion outdoor showers.

Actor Chris Noth, better known as "Sex And The City's" Mr. Big, spent some quality time with his family in Hawaii and, whoa, did Mr. Big always have a body like that? He was always wearing those gigantic suits on "Sex And The City" so we assumed he would at least have a little man-boobage going on—not that there's anything wrong with a little man-boobage, but still: whoa. We want to lust after him even more intensely but these pictures of him playing with his son, Orion and that goofy grin on his face are just way too cute.

We can tell that 2011 is going to be a very good year. Why? Because ridiculously sexy actor Tom Hardy will be playing shirtless, bad boy soldiers in not one but two films being released this year. He is on the sets of "Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy" (left) and "Warrior" (right). It looks like Hardy has finally come to realize the magic of his naked body. Let's just hope he uses his newfound powers for good!

Our favorite soccer hunk Cristiano Ronaldo takes a break from that silly little game to do what he does best—get photographed shirtless by the paparazzi. This time he was caught hanging out in The Maldives with his model girlfriend, Irina Shayk.