Disappointingly, Straight Fraternity’s Godrick Is Not The Godric From ‘True Blood’

Yes, we had a moment where we hoped the 2000-year-old vampire had abandoned his un-life of philosophizing about human-vampire relations to become Straight Fraternity's newest catch. Boy oh boy, were we wrong.

· Straight Fraternity

See, this is Godric. He is an ancient and powerful vampire trapped in the body of a teenage boy, which is okay because he's still got a totally rockin' bod and all these sweet tats from when he was a slave during the Barbarian Age of the Roman Empire. You can understand why we would love to see him drop those (probably very comfy!) linen pants and jerk his vampire-dick for our entertainment.
This is Godrick. He is a 23-year-old straight boy who is doing porn for extra cash. He may or may not actually be in a fraternity and he puts enough product in his hair to poison the entire water supply of a mid-sized island nation.
Godric has a serious bad boy streak. He used to have dreadlocks! It's really hard for white people to pull off dreadlocks, but when they occasionally manage to do so we cannot help but be extra-attracted to them.
Godrick's bad boy streak is defined by a pencil-thin goatee that he probably spends an hour every day editing into the slightly asymmetrical monstrosity you see here.
Godric is secretly a talented Danish actor by the name of Allan Hyde. He sometimes does cool and sexy photo shoots that make him look like this.
Godrick's biggest secret is that he has a bigger erect penis than his dad, but it's not much of a secret because it's one of the first things he says during his solo shoot. The fact that he knows this is weird.