Chris Pratt Is A Manly Manly Man Man Man In Vanity Fair

January 5, 2017
HIS_EXCELLENCY

If you were ever confused about Chris Pratt's gender, then fear not, because his new Vanity Fair photo shoot really clears things up! The A-list hottie with a bottie can be seen fishing, riding a four wheeler, casually leaning against a muddy racecar, leaning against a rustic tent, and dranking a beeeer. A New Castle no less. Chris Pratt is one of the few stars actually manly enough to pull this thing off, and the whole shoot is doing serious things for me. Could you imagine if this was Eddie Redmayne? No, it'd be like Marie Antoinette going rock climbing.

Chris Pratt has swagger, humor, one hell of a bod, scruff for days, and he gives really good face here. Basically, we've had enough teasing at this point and I pretty much need to see that dong ASAP! Here's the jizz-st of what's going on in Chris Pratt's world.

On the actor he most looks like in Hollywood:

I looked exactly like Heath Ledger. I had long blond hair, still bleached out, Hawaiian … That’s what people were always saying: Man, you look just like Heath Ledger. Then I saw Heath Ledger on the cover of Vanity Fair, and I thought, Hey, I do look just like that guy.

On how he's mastered auditions:

Once you get smart about auditioning, you learn to audition before they say ‘Action.’ You walk into the room as the character. You let them think the person you are is close to the character they want. You make them think you already are that guy.

On the time he was pressured to be thin for the Moneyball role that he didn't get, even though he could currently stand to be a little squishier:

That was the first time I heard someone say, ‘We’re not gonna cast you—you’re too fat.’ So I decided to drop the weight, like in wrestling. I couldn’t afford a trainer, so it was all running and crash-dieting and cutting alcohol.

Crash-dieting is the best way to go.

And finally, on being the Gumper of the year at Bubba Gump Shrimp in Hawaii:

I was Gumper of the year,” he told me. “They gave me the award. I got my name on a plaque. It was the kind of place that . . . Did you ever see the movie Waiting . . . ? Anna’s in that movie, and she’s great. Or Office Space? Did you ever see that? You know how [Jennifer Aniston] can’t handle the fuckin’ flair? Well, I was a monster with the flair.

Now check out the steamy spread and tell me you don't expect the Bromo boys to drive by at any moment!

Via Vanity Fair