Move Over Fleshjack, Now There’s Something Steamier

Fresh off the honeymoon with our betrothed, the Fleshjack, along comes a new sex toy to catch our wandering eye. Fleshjack, we love you dearly, but make room for a mistress. Meet Real Touch.

Gone are the days of exerting your poor overworked wrist muscles to manually jack off to porn. Once the massive Real Touch contraption is 'round your willy, it apparently uses a techno-geek term called "haptic technology" to simulate, in real time, on-screen stimulation. A Rube Goldberg set of internal pulleys, conveyor belts, lube releasers, heating pads and a little elf make you feel like you're actually fucking Brent Corrigan as you watch him being fucked.

For the strong of heart, one video simulates getting sucked by Jake Cruise!

We'd be thrilled if the manufacturers sent us a freebie, so we can 1) tell you if the hefty $199.95 price tag is worth it and, 2) get over deep pounding a gizmo that reminds us of WALL·E's Eve.

· Real Touch (realtouch.com)