Cazzo Films’ “Homopunx”: Hold The Bratwurst

They may be known for their tasty food, tailored suits, and massive, uncut schlongs, but when it comes to stateside holidays, Italians get the short end of the stick. Case in point: the Irish spent yesterday guzzling green beer and karaoke-ing to "Danny Boy". And where were the Italians? Those who'd survived the Ides of March were sweating over hot stoves in preparation for St. Joseph's Day -- which is tomorrow, in case you forgot. (We're pretty sure you did. Poor St. Joseph.)

To make up for this sad disparity, the Fleshbot staff set out to celebrate high-definition Italian smut, and we thought we'd found a worthy target in Cazzo Films' latest release, "Homopunx". After all, "cazzo" is Italian slang for "cock": surely this was the Roman holiday in a box we'd been wanting for? But no. Oddly enough, "Homopunx" was filmed in Berlin. And the storyline centers around a Frenchman! And the spelling in that title? Totally Basque! Or maybe Portuguese. Just definitely not Italian.

But no matter: the guys still look hot, even though some of the sartorial choices on the back cover are decidedly ... uh, German. And besides, we don't need porn to make us think of the Old Country. We're still going to spend tomorrow hitting on hotties with our fave pick-up line: "Do you have a little Italian in you? Would you like some?" (Good night, Secaucus! We're here all week!)

· "Homopunx" (Cazzo Films)