LiveBlogging The 2008 GAYVN Awards: We Are There (So You Don’t Have To Be)

February 16, 2008
JONNOBOT

The glamour! The drama! The excitement! The tears! The 2008 GAYVN Awards may very well turn out to be the most memorable in the ten year history of the event ... and ~~they haven't happened yet~~ they're happening right now!

Since we couldn't let such an important and historic occasion go unrecorded for posterity, we'll be liveblogging the 2008 GAYVN Awards from San Francisco's Giftcenter starting at 10 PM EST/7 PM PST tonight in conjunction with our pals at The Sword and Gay Porn Blog -- so bookmark this page and check back frequently around then for photos and updates on the show as it happens. We know you wouldn't want to miss a, er, trick.

. . .

Fleshbot + The Sword + Gay Porn Blog present
Live (Or Sort Of) From The 2008 GAYVN Awards
Giftcenter, San Francisco

5:22 PM PST

5:26 PM PST
No one is here. They're literally still setting up. People are just starting to arrive for the red carpet.

5:41 PM PST

Pornstars, finally: Naked Sword's Sister Roma with Jason Hawke (l) and Chris Green

5:57 PM PST

Lady Bunny arrives.

Jason Ridge (middle), Damien Crosse (right), and ~~some guy~~ Jonathan Vargas (left) (thanks A.N.!)

6:01 PM PST

Jason Curious is saying that hosts Derek & Romaine (above w/Roma) have been limited to a minute and a half onstage time total due to bad press. Oops!

6:04 PM PST
THERE'S A CASH BAR! Scandal!!!

6:16 PM PST

Sister Roma and Tiger Tyson

6:21 PM PST

Jason Ridge grabs Roma's tit; Damian Rios just keeps smiling pretty.

6:29 PM PST
OK, everyone is really freaking out about the cash bar. The drinks are really overpriced too.

6:33 PM PST

Barrett Long bought his realistic dildo with him to the red carpet. Classy!

6:34 PM PST
Curiously, they are playing Amy Winehouse as background music on the red carpet.

6:42 PM PST

More arrivals: Collin O'Neal + BF; Chi Chi LaRue and date; Francesco D'Macho and entourage.

Erik Rhodes (right)

6:49 PM PST

Twink gremlin Tory Mason shows off his new haircut.

6:57 PM PST
Arrivals are ending. Let's see if this thing starts on time.

6:59 PM PST

Adult legend Lou Cass arrives late, forgot sleeves.

6:59 PM PST

The scene inside the Giftcenter.

7:02 PM PST
!! Michael Lucas confessed to us that he engineered the Dark Alley Media disqualification.

7:06 PM PST
"Rehab" is still playing on an endless loop.

7:13 PM PST

(L-R): Rod Barry, Romaine. (We kid!)

7:19 PM PST
OK, it's finally starting; some random guy is introducing Chi Chi to start the show.

7:24 PM PST

Chi Chi is defending Derek & Romaine. And now she's introducing Lady Bunny.

7:25 PM PST

Lady Bunny is already making fart jokes and singing one of her parody songs: "All That Jizz".

7:25 PM PST
For some reason this is feeling like a "Benny Hill Show" rerun.

7:33 PM PST
Derek and Romaine have taken the stage ... as houseplants!

7:35 PM PST

OK, now they're really on stage. They also referred to Mike @ The Sword as an asshole.

7:40 PM PST
Michael Lucas announces Blake Riley is Best Newcomer.

7:42 PM PST
ChaosMen's "Edge" is Best Amateur Video.

7:46 PM PST

Collin O'Neal won Best Pro-Am and is boasting about winning two years in a row. Ricky Sinz (above) won Best Solo for "Grunts". And now Romaine is talking about her breasts; audience en masse uses opportunity to go to the bathroom for another bump.

7:49 PM PST
This is really gallopping along; "Naked Boys Singing" won Best Alternative Release. And despite the cash bar, people are already getting really drunk. (Ed. note: Including our livebloggers, bless their hearts.)

7:51 PM PST
Jesse Santana is so suntanned that he looks like a dime store Indian statue.

7:54 PM PST
"Folsom Leather" won Best Leather Video; presenter Tom Chase mispronounced the title of runner-up "Gaytanamo".

7:58 PM PST

Erik Rhodes and Matthew Rush are on stage presenting ... something. Matthew is either drunk or acting like Dean Martin on purpose.

7:59 PM PST
"Link: The Evolution" won for Best Group Scene. OK, show is officially starting to drag. Is it time for another bump yet?

8:04 PM PST
Boring, boring, boring ... though we just heard that someone is taking pics of some of the nominees in the elevators with poppers and a Polaroid.

8:06 PM PST

The Jarics have taken the stage. They may be even less interesting than Derek and Romaine.

8:07 PM PST

Now Lady Bunny is making some long, involved, and not very funny joke about Stephen Colbert and one of the Jarics' asses.

8:10 PM PST
Still almost two hours to go. Why did we leave our poppers at home?

8:16 PM PST
Paul Barresi wins the Lifetime Achievement Award. JD Slater is overheard saying "Why don't I have any ice to throw?"

8:20 PM PST

The Hall Of Fame awards are always to the most boring part of the evening. Still, nice to see Tiger Tyson win one. Isn't he a little young though?

8:29 PM PST
Sister Roma is on stage now; receives first standing ovation of the evening. "Grunts" wins Best DVD Extras.

8:33 PM PST
According to Romaine, Erik Rhodes is getting a blowjob in the front row. We don't think she's serious.

8:35 PM PST

It's the Lady Bunny halftime show!

8:41 PM PST

Jeremy Hall is waiting to win Best Supporting Actor for "Little Big League 3".

8:46 PM PST
Christian Cruz and Ricky Sinz tie for Best Supporting Actor. Sorry, Jeremy!

8:48 PM PST

And "The Intern" won Best Sex Comedy. No surprise there.

8:51 PM PST
It what may be a GAYVN first, currently incarcerated Nickolay Petrov won an award for Best Threesome with Jesse Santana and ~~some dude~~ Jason White for "Just Add Water".

9:01 PM PST
Romaine is asking the audience whether they want to send her back to New York. Meanwhile, no one in the audience is even pretending to listen to what's happening onstage anymore.

9:10 PM PST
Awards move into their third hour. Audience majorly antsy, and several major awards still to go. Some people are already leaving.

9:18 PM PST
Jake Deckard won Best Actor for "Grunts" -- which as everyone expected is winning, like, everything tonight.

9:21 PM PST
And Jake Deckard is also Performer Of The Year.

9:26 PM PST

Aaaaand ... Ben Leon and Chris Ward swept both Best Director and Best Picture for "Grunts"! This also means the awards are almost over!