Ricky Martin’s Nude Debut On American Crime Story! Plus Darren Criss Bulge

Trying to get a read on your all's feelings towards American Crime Story star Darren Criss is like me trying to figure out if the blue-eyed dreamboat working at my local Potbelly's is gay. So, impossible. Criss of course has a weird body, but any self-respecting lady would receive his eyebrows in a second, and he has a head of hair that goes on and on and on!

MY POINT is that last time I wrote him off an exuberant commenter said that Criss is "perfection." While that's obviously a lie, I have to take all taints into consideration, which brings me to MY OTHER POINT, which is that this is why I'm allowing Criss to hijack this post which was originally supposed to focus on Ricky Martin's ageless ass visible as he gets down and gay in the new episode of American Crime Story: Assassination of Gianni Versace. I had too many cups of coffee this morning and I feel like I could rip and phone book in half!!!!

Okay. Yes, Criss finally provides context for the pics of him in tight pink Speedos that damn near broke the Internet earlier this year. But Wednesday's episode of the FX series will go down in infamy as the time we first got a look at Ricky Martin's ass! The hottie plays Versace's lover, and in one scene, strips off his undies to reveal his actually ageless ass before hopping into bed with another man, as Versace sits casually by! Ugh, Miami Beach in the 90's. Must have been nice. See the clip below and head to the gallery for your desktop background options. Also, do you want to diss Criss, or does he make you mist? Spillz in the comments!