Sexiest Picture Of Taylor Swift’s New Boyfriend, Joe Alwyn

When it comes to Joe, we Alwyn! The 26-year-old Brit cutie has been penetrating chic bowl of plain yogurt Taylor Swift for a couple months now, and we've got his sexiest pictures right here, as well as the deets on the couple's secret relationship. Get ready to spill the T huntay, errrrrrkay?! Yes, his_excellency is Laganja Estranja. ::tongue pop:: ::crying::

Taylor Swift has been MIA for the past couple of months, and it turns out that she's been hiding in a North London rental, which is frequented by none other than blondie Joe Alwyn. Thank God a friend, AKA Taylor Swift, was about to reach out to the Sun and give us insight into this merging of bowls of plain yogurt:

Taylor and Joe are the real deal, this is a very serious relationship. But after what happened with Tom Hiddleston, they were determined to keep it quiet. Taylor has flown in via private jets and her security has made it a military-like mission to prevent her from being seen. She’s been walking around with Joe in London using disguises - nobody has a clue they’ve been walking past a music superstar – not even her new neighbours.

After her 1989 tour and all the attention Taylor received, she learned she had to be more protective of her personal life and she and Joe decided early on to keep their private life private.

Interestingly, this isn't nearly the first uncut Brit cock that Swift has not touched, but stared at while cutting herself and writing lyrics, as Alwyn's uncut penis was preceded by Harry Styles, Tom Hiddleston, and Eddie Redmayne. 

So about this Joe Alwyn. After checking out the pictures in the gallery you'll notice that his blue blood looks are total catnip to Kennedy Chaser Taylor Swift. Never forget that she bought a house at the Kennedy compound to get closer to Conor Kennedy before he registered her as a stalker with the Cape Cod police.

Alwyn has three IMDB credits outside of appearing as himself, and they include Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk and The Sense of an Ending. Basically, Alwyn would have no reason at all for dating a superstar. He's set. If you want to prepare for Swift's next breakup song, head to the gallery to see Joe Alwyn's sexiest photos!

P.S. God this got fucking long. Shout out to anyone who stuck with me. If you didn't, you're not reading this, so I feel okay telling you to go fuck yourself. K byez.